Why do i fall sleep when inside the car?
When we were driving from Houston back to Dallas, i was feeling sleepy, my eyelids were heavy. I noticed what’s around me and what created the experience of sleepiness – the sound of the car engine, my eyes gazing on the road in front of me, the comfortable car seat, the darkness (it’s about 12 midnight) and the Atlantean mp3 we were listening to . All of these together created an atmosphere that is similar to when i was in a car before, sleeping. I saw there was a pattern so I did self-forgiveness. L also did 1 or 2 self-forgiveness statements. I did self-forgiveness everytime i yawn and felt my eyelids were heavy. I noticed that after about 6 or more self-forgiveness statements and self-corrective statements i was suddenly awake. In fact i did not sleep during the whole trip. I suggested for L to test this. He said ‘I cannot sleep while i am driving’. This sounded like he was saying he does not need to direct himself, and that what he is doing – driving – is directing him not to sleep. He said he was just stating a fact. We disagreed about this. What just happened to me was a clear indication that i can direct myself not to sleep – and so him saying that means that – he did not direct himself not to fall sleep while he was driving – and that it was the driving that made him not fall sleep – when he actually directed himself to not fall sleep.
When we reached home and about to sleep i suggested we do self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements ( i do not remember the details because it was 5 days ago when it happened). So, we did. The next day, after waking up, i gave him an example of when 2 individuals looking at the sun early in the morning, one was not doing our process (self-forgiveness and self-correction for self-perfection) and one was applying our process in every moment- and had been doing it for a long time . The two individuals were saying ‘The sun is beautiful’. I asked him what’s the difference in how their starting point? He said one is seeing the sun in separation – as the personality, and the one doing our process – saying what he said after doing self-forgiveness for perceived separation from the sun – is saying that without mind participation. We agreed that the starting point matter. We also agreed that for us to not have a disagreement, this is how i should word my question, ” Where are you coming from as the personality when you said that?”
So, this is the way i word my question to him now.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the sound of the car engine, my eyes fixated on the road in front of me, the comfortable car seat, the darkness (it’s about 12 midnight) around me and the Atlantean mp3 ‘monotone’ we were listening to in the car – to wanting to sleep.
When and as i see myself connecting the sound of the car engine, my eyes fixated on the road in front of me, the comfortable car seat, the darkness (it’s about 12 midnight) around me and the mp3 ‘monotone’ i am listening to when seated inside the car during a long drive – i stop – i breath – i let go. I realize that this gives me a feeling that my need to survive as the personality defined within sleep and no sleep is real and that i as the personality has a real existence.I do not allow and accept me to be enslaved by sleeping in the car during a long drive as i identify as the personality. I stop participating because this is not what is best for me and not what is best for all
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to defend myself when someone states something different from my realizations as i identify as the personality/ego.
When and as i see myself defend myself when someone disagrees with my realizations – i stop – i breath. I realize this gives me a feeling that i am right as i defined myself within a belief that right is good and wrong is bad. I stop participating because this is not what is best for me and not what is best for all.