Removing the Cover
June 8, 2011
I suggested we use music in physical interaction, as i have always been ’emotionally’ affected by music in the past. I see that i can transcend within this. So, i asked L to download some music and then i picked the one that affected me the most. It was a jazz music. I ‘like’ jazz music. The particular music i selected awakens some feelings and memories of romance as i have associated it with past events that involved being with a man in a restaurant, and having ‘intimate’ coversations within a ‘relationship’ setting. Music also ‘turns me on’ and prepares the way for physical nteraction.
When the music commenced i stayed focus and breathed through the music as it was being played for about 5 minutes. I asked L to allow me to be self- intimate as i did that. I asked him to not touch me during that time. I also did self-forgiveness for points coming up. Mostly what came up were associations with ‘feelings and emotions’ related to ‘good feelings within having sex’.
When i was clear of thoughts, feelings and emotions, we had physical interaction. During that time, i remained as the breath, directing whatever desires come up back to self. I was also able to push through my points.
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Points i saw within this:
*Belief that i can be affected by music in a ‘positive or negative’ way
*Perceiving music as separate from me
*Perceiving the music notes as separate from me
*Perceiving the musical instrument as separate from me
*Perceiving the musician as separate from me
*Associating good sex with music
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Self-forgiveness:
*Belief that i can be affected by music in a ‘positive or negative’ way
I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to believe that i can be affected by music in a ‘positive or negative’ way
*Perceiving music as separate from me
I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to perceive music as separate from me
*Perceiving the musical instrument as separate from me
I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to perceive the musical instrument/instruments separate from me
*Perceiving the musician as separate from me
I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to perceive the musician separate from me
*Associating good sex with music
I forgive myself that i accepted and allowed myself to associate good sex with music
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Self-Corrective Statement:
When i see myself getting into a pattern of desire – i stop – i breath.
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Self-Corrective Application:
The 21 days breathing for freedom
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