Raw Food Class – Finished Nori Roll
Preparing The Nori Rolls
Last Saturday, after we finished working on all the dishes, while SL and I were eating -she told me that before she came there was a situation at work that involves flirting – which bothered her – so she wanted to let it out. She said she wanted to ask the man this question:
“What did i do to make you feel so comfortable with me that you think this is okay?”
I take note of what others tell me – because they are a part of me showing me what i had become – so i can direct it using self-forgiveness and self- correction. They are assisting me in my process of self-perfection.
I will bring a memory here – so i can direct it. This is about me flirting with a guy before.
When i was at work before, my mom asked a friend of the family to pick me up at work to be with her in a family event. This guy later on became my ex-husband.It all started with flirting – the smile, talking about him, the clothes, the body movements, the laugh, the slight dilation of the eye, the prolonged gaze etc.
In part 1 of this blog, i would look at – the clothes i used to impress him. The next blogs after that – i will look at and direct the rest of the flirting game.
When my mom told me on the phone that this guy is picking me up – i had a thought, “this guy can be a potential partner”. So, i looked at what i was wearing. I asked myself, “Do i look slim in this clothes? The answer is yes. I then double check some points that i could possibly miss. I also asked myself, “Is my fat tummy visible? Am i wearing clothes that is loose enough that will hide that part of the stomach? Yes.
I know i was ready to meet this guy.
The point i am directing here is the use of clothes to be desired by another.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a female – as less than myself and wanting to be desired by a male – which is me wanting to be more than who i am – and within this, see the male as less than who i am – who i can impulse by the way i dress – using clothes as an expression of me as the mind – as i identify as the ego-personality – with an outcome that is done for what is best for me – which is about me as the personality, defined by my judgments and beliefs in wanting to dress up to impress and hide who i have become – to form a relationship with another personality. This is not what is best for all because when i abuse my expression within the clothes i wear – as to why i wear the clothes i wear – directed by the mind/ego/personality – i support the personality systems within this world which makes the world the way it is - within the fashion industry and other systems formed and operated based on abuse of clothes – within self-sabotage.
When and as i see myself using clothes to impress and hide who i have become as the ego-personality – to others- i stop – i breathe. I realise that this gives me life as the personality which is an illusion - by making an illusion real through the use of clothes to impress and hide -clothes, being real, because i can touch it. I stop participating because this is not what is best for me and not what is best for all.